Man Defined: Four Principles Defining A Man

Father Son Discipleship

What is the definition of a man? Webster’s Dictionary defines a man as an “individual human; especially :  an adult male human.” But just because a man is an adult male, that really doesn’t make him a man. They may look like a man but the actions taken and maturity may not be what we would typically define as being a man. Society has this all misconfigured. There truly isn’t a real definition of a man that todays society can offer that comes close to what being a man is all about. Society tells us that “if it feels good do it’, or you can be anyone or anything that you want to be. Is this lack of vision a good fit for what  God called a man to be? Is this a man defined?

Part of the problem with the lack of vision for a man defined is complex. It’s not a secret that since the late 80’s and early 90’s most families typically consists of both parents working full time daytime jobs and having very little influence in the life of their children. Usually the kids get home to an empty house and spend very little if any quality time with their parents in the evening. Parents are tired, frustrated with their events of the day, in particular with things that did not go well with their work which is preventing them from fully engaging with their kids. Most character flaws they see in their kids are either ignored, or simply go unnoticed by their parents. Kids sometimes feel as though they are talking to a blank screen. “Are you listening?” “Do you even care?” they wonder.

Fathers Make Sacrifices

Another thing that makes a man defined so complex is divorced parents, and unfortunately divorce continues to rise. I personally had divorced parents. And unfortunately as a christian man, I have seen several of my close christian friends go through a divorce as well. Parents do not develop meaningful relationships with their kids the way that they used to let alone with one another. The family unit begins to dissolve. Parents don’t communicate with one another and grow more distant. Lack of time spent together or pressure from everything else around them adds to the aggravation. A simple life. A less complicated life. A better life would be preferred now.

Communication, time spent together, dinner at the table, loving on one another, nurturing each another, building each other up, has all been traded in for a dream. A dream of having success, stuff, and a status symbol. Parents are both headed off in this direction too often. This selfishness spells departure from our traditional family and values. Sons are left to pick themselves up and define manhood all on their own. He has no accountability, no responsibility, no work ethic, and he cowers into his electronic devices as an easy escape from reality. Divorce means boys spending no time with their father, all their free time with mainly their mother, (no knock on moms or daughters),  hastens the ability for him to know who he is and what manhood is all about. He will learn it from the world and his peers.

This isn’t what God had planned. A man defined is way more meaningful than this. If you feel as though you are headed in this direction keep reading…

Raising A Modern Day Knight

A few years ago I took a Bible Study Class called Raising A Modern Day Knight. I highly recommend that you read this book, watch the DVDs and take the 6 week class. It will change your life with your spouse, with your son, and change your perspective on a lot things in your life for the better. It’s an excellent course for men with young boys and will give great wisdom that will help and encourage men to be intentional about raising sons that not only have great values, but who are confident in who they are as God intended them to be. You will be able to understand the four principles that define a man and grow in understanding how to apply them in your life and the life of your son.

Four Principles

I have been following these principles with my son and he knows by heart the four principles that define a man. They are:

  1. A man rejects passivity
  2. Accepts responsibility
  3. Leads courageously
  4. Expects the greater reward

As a father, I am often tempted to be passive, irresponsible, or even worry and be fearful of the future. The author Robert Lewis shares that we often times as fathers fail our sons in teaching them about God and His plan for their lives. Teaching them to obey God, and that God has a work for them to do (vocation), and that God also has a woman for us to love (eventually for them). We can model this in our own lives. And while we are going through these things as fathers we can share real life stories with our sons. Being real is to show how God has gotten us through them, and will bring more father son bonding than we ever imagined. Fathers, don’t be afraid to be humble and show your son how to humble himself through your example.

Many fathers invest in their sons for things that don’t matter. Their career is important but not while bringing our sons up with no moral conviction. What good would it do for them to become successful if they become corrupt in their married life and/or also in their vocation? By teaching our sons these Biblical teachings we are discipling them into manhood. Start them young as the course teaches as a Page, and then a Squire, and then finally into Manhood- The Ceremonial Knighting of our sons. It’s never too late for a father to teach these principles to his son. This is man defined. This is finishing strong!

Remember dads, if you don’t raise your sons to manhood… the world will. -Dennis Rainey


Perfect Snacks For Maintaining Great Health

Perfect Snacks

What are the perfect snacks to eat for optimum health and wellness?

There is much temptation when walking down the grocery isle to grab things that look good at the time. Be warned…if you go shopping while hungry and without a purpose, you will buy exactly the opposite of what you should. This is never good for a healthy lifestyle. It requires more than this on a consistent basis to help you in your overall health goals.

Make a list of food that you have chosen for your lifestyle not what will satisfy your taste buds. Remember that dieting does not work. You will need to commit to the lifestyle you chose for health and wellness. So, before you get in the car to head off to the grocer, make a list of healthful and beneficial foods that fit in with your life style.

Good Guidelines To Live By

Perfect Snacks, Health and Wellness Cancer Prevention

Perfect Snacks

According to the American Cancer Society a perfect snacks are those with between 100-200 calories and includes a PROTEIN + UNREFINED CARBOHYDRATE.

This makes for an excellent food marriage which keeps you feeling fuller longer. Not only that, but it is very nutritious.

Take a look at the guidelines from the American Cancer Society guidelines. It is recommended that eating a healthy snack every few hours helps to fight off cancer. Who would have thought of it.

No longer do you have to wait to eat every six hours as we all were originally taught. But now the recommended snack time is MUCH better for you. You think, “no wonder I was always grabbing what was around me. I was truly hungry with no nutrition around.” Just refined carbs and refined sugars. That didn’t help with your lifestyle goals at all.

You can feel confident in this chart. It is a great way to feeling refreshed, well nourished, and feeling empowered to live a healthy lifestyle to maximize your energy levels.

If you would like to make a donation to the American Cancer Society to get a free copy of this PDF go to the American Cancer Society website and for a minimum donation of $10.00 you can download your copay today.


CANCER How To Decrease Your Chances Of Getting It

Cancer Is 90 Percent Avoidable

Cancer is Catastrophic. Period.

As a current health and wellness coach and former oncology sales specialist for a major fortune 50 company, over the years I have learned a great deal about cancer, cancer treatment, and also the major cause of cancer.

What was surprising to me and I think that you will will be surprised as well, was the fact that 90% of all cancers on average are caused by external environment. (American Cancer Society.)

What does this mean?

It means that only about 10% of cancer cases are linked directly to genetics. These types of cancer are the hereditary type.

Wow! That is astonishing news.

What would be even more amazing is if we all took action on this fact and did something about it.

What can we all do?

For starters, when we raise our children from a young age, we need to make them very aware of the facts of cancer. This will empower them to treat their bodies in the best possible way for the best possible outcome in the prevention of cancer later in life.

As for you and me it’s still not too late. There are many things that we can do to live a healthier lifestyle and still decrease our chances of getting this catastrophic disease.

Cancer, Cancer Prevention, GMO, GMO's

Cancer: How To Decrease Your

Chances Of Getting It

  1. Do Not Smoke. Period. And when you are around other people do your best to try not to breath in the second hand smoke. I can detect cigarette smoke from about a block away. Yuck! Avoid cancer by not smoking and avoid inhaling second hand smoke.
  2. Do not drink. Drinking although wine may have it’s health benefits, can cause liver damage. Did you know that drinking one beer is equivalent to eating eight slices of bread. Woe! That’s a lot of carbs beer belly! Avoid cancer of the liver by not consuming too much alcohol.
  3. Avoid Sun Exposure. The sun’s radiation not only is damaging to our skin, but the majority of melanomas and other types of skin cancer comes late in life. Not only will your skin look and feel old, but your risks of skin cancer or much greater when you have had a high exposure to UVA and UVB from the sun. Wear sunblock, wear protective clothing such as hats, scarfs, and sunglasses. Avoid those cancer causing UV rays!
  4. Avoid household chemicals. It is amazing that their are so many toxins in and around the home. And by no means should you ever freeze anything in plastic or microwave in plastic. This releases chemicals into the food that you are going to ingest! Avoid cancer causing household chemicals.
  5. Avoid Pesticides. Avoid cancer causing pesticides.There are numerous ways to get rid of bugs the safe way. It’s always best to eliminate in the yard which will prevent them from coming in the home. If you have to, just spray thr outside of the home, but never inside.
  6. Avoid Industrial Chemicals.  Avoid cancer causing toxins. Did you know that you are exposed to industrial strength chemicals at least once per week? When you put gas in your car, you are at risk of consuming a toxin that gets into your lungs and easily seeps into the skin. Fortunately, our body’s immune system can fight off the carcinogens most of the time. But if it happens often enough, cancer cells can began to spread. Try your best to minimize exposure by wearing gloves, protective clothing, and a respirator anytime you are around these substances.
  7. Eat Organic. It may be more costly, but these days you can never be too careful. Pesticides run rampant in some countries. It’s always best to eat organic, but if you cannot, then try to selective your food choices and beware of the country of it’s origin. Do they have tight regulations on pesticides? Avoiding pesticides by eating organic helps cut down on your cancer risks.
  8. Avoid GMO’s. GMO or Genetically Modified Organism, has been restructured and altered the DNA of the food. It started in the seed and has helped the farmer to have a more robust crop. Corn and many other foods are genetically modified. Look for the label of disclaimer. GMO’s can cause many illnesses in my opinion that many will deny. Avoiding GMO’s can help prevent illnesses that can lead to cancer.
  9. Get Plenty Of Exercise. Science has proven that increased exercise helps prevent heart disease and that it also improves the immune system. Forget the diets that never work. Nine out of ten people will end up right back where they started. Remember that your overall health and wellness depends on a lifestyle change. If you can’t do it, get a health and wellness life coach. They are specifically trained to help you overcome the triggers to eating unhealthy and binging. This helps prevent cancer too.
  10. Get Plenty of Rest. Helps Prevent Cancer. Forget what most say about the number of hours of recommended sleep needed per night. Get to know your own body. I agree that everyone should get at least 6 hours of sleep per night. Some may need more. Everyone is different. The main thing here is not to get so sleep deprived that you compromise on your health. That’s when you immune system is affected. Lack of sleep over a prolonged period of time weakens the immune function and your body systems from digestive to circulatory do not operate properly.

Although there is no guarantee, it is best to maximize your chances of contracting cancer by living by these guidelines.

Remember that early detection of cancer is a critical key in cancer survival. So be sure to get your check ups and cancer screening required at the recommended time.

Be Well,



Faith Into Action

Faith in action. Sometimes it’s tough. These days as I sit and have my quiet time in the morning, I think about my faith a lot.

Having a near death experience, not knowing whether or not I would make it out of the surgery alive, has made me that way.

Each day that my feet hit the floor, I thank God immensely for the time that I have been given.

I stay home while my wife is at work, I homeschool our three kids.  It is a huge change for us all. Although it has been five years since my surgery, life is such a struggle. I mean,, being more than half blind, has been a mojor change for more me. It has completely changed who I was. It would be different if perhaps I could drive. Then I would at least be able to get around.

But having gone from a successful pharmaceutical sales professional to a half blind stay at home dad who teaches his kids and does all the household stuff like cooking, cleaning, and laundry is crazy.

Our Faith In Action

Logistically speaking what we have on our hands is a complete nightmare to say the least. We depend on so many people for rides to and from so many locations. Don’t get me wrong, I am so, so grateful for all that our friends do for us, we could never repay all the kindness. It’s just that you have no idea how crazy it is.

Two weeks ago while the temperature was in the 40’s my wife dropped off my youngest daughter and I at a gas station, to catch our connecting ride to school. As my wife drove away for work it dawned on me.

My family’s Faith was truly the only thing keeping us all together. It was the only thing keeping my wife and I together. It was the only thing that we can explain to our kids about why things are the way that they are. My wife and both wish things were different.

Faith In Action

Put On The Full Armor Of God

I have tried hard to hide my blindness from any potential employer. I have filled out so many resumes and been to so many interviews, but nothing seems to work out. Not being able to drive or work in a changing environment has limited many potential jobs for me. Not looking for sympathy, I’m just stating a fact.

It is so very crazy.

How do we do what we do? I mean anyone in their right mind would be done this crazy mess by now. How do we do it.

I answered my own question that day waiting for our ride to school out in the cold with my daughter Mandy.

It is because we know and believe with our innermost being that God and his overflowing wisdom has a plan for us.

How do we know this? It is because we have been practicing what we believe. It is because we don’t put our faith up on a shelf somewhere and go to it when it is needed. We put our faith where our mouth is.

Faith is not just a noun that you have and simply hold on to it. Yes you do hold onto faith, but you can’t just hold on and not practice faith. Faith has to be  intentional and consistently put into practice as in faith the verb.

Faith in action can do more because it is allowing the power of God to work in your life. My family and I,  we know that today, because God has a plan, we can do this.

I encourage you to practice what you believe by reading, praying, and holding onto and going where you are called because your faith through God can make it happen.



Maintaining Health and Wellness Over 50

A new life style of Success

Don’t Give Up On Health and Wellness

As we are well underway for the new year, I am taking time as a Health and Wellness Coach to share something amazing that has been on my mind for a while- Health and Wellness.

Because we all go through health struggles from time to time, I truly believe that it makes sense to do the best that we can to be as healthy as we can for as long as we can. Simply because our bodies are aging, doesn’t mean that we need to give in. Some people, when they feel they have reached a certain age, lets just say the age of over 50, they give up trying to take care of themselves. They think more of how they used to be and cannot see themselves in the now. Are you this way? Do you see yourself now and wish for something in the past? The athleticism and the fitness and perfect health are gone and the lines and wrinkles of every year now are showing. Hang on and don’t quit.

There is no better way to quickly speed up the aging process than to give up trying to maintain or even improve your health and wellness. I have a friend that at one time truly believed that health didn’t matter any more. He continued to wish for the good old days. I finally encouraged him to start living in the here and now to be the best that he can be.

There are numerous ways to maintain health and wellness over 50. Being over 50 doesn’t really spell disaster. But if health and wellness are not maintained, a very difficult time awaits those in this category.

Let me ask you a question…Would you rather be old and pain-free or old, decrepit, and experiencing massive pain and body failure because of health and wellness neglect?

The choice of the road that you go down is completely up to you…but I want to encourage you to choose wisely. Once you choose your path, it is almost impossible to turn back because the damage has already been done.

There are some great benefits to maintaining health and wellness over 50 verses the consequences of life out of control.

Proverbs 23:2-3 and put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite. Do not desire his delicacies, for they are deceptive food.

Proverbs 23:21 For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will cloth them with rags.

2 Peter 2:19 They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption.For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.

Proverbs 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

1 Corinthians 6:12-13 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful.All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything.

Philippians 3:19 Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.

The benefits of maintaining health and wellness over 50 are extremely beneficial and are a stark contrast to the issues related to giving up.

Benefits of Health and Well-Being:

Overall wellness physically

Mental Alertness- the important ability to handle stress and maintain energy levels.

Lose or maintain weight- This means control over cholesterol and Triglyceride

Healthy lifestyle with exercise and supplementation.

Cardiovascular, respiratory, and immune system health.

There is change offered by what God’s word says. It provides meaningful applicable power given by God to enable every one of us to do the best to maintain health and wellness over 50 or at almost any age. Even though we are getting older, we should follow God’s word and take care of the temple that He has given us.

A Habit of Health:

Proverbs 24:10-Winners never give up.

Proverbs 24:16-Winners always get up.

Proverbs 10:9- Winners always live up.

Proverbs 10:17- Winners do it the right way.

Philippians 4:13- Winners focus on success.

The Bible also sys in Hosea “My people perish for a lack of knowledge.”

When we gain knowledge and believe what God’s word says about our life and the way we are to live, we will repent and turn away from our poor health habits i. e. habits of overeating, choosing to much of the wrong foods, and turn our dietary and exercise regimen around for the good that God has for us.

Maintaining health and wellness over 50 can be managed. Some people are able to do it fairly easily because they have an active lifestyle and have consistently taken great care of themselves. They don’t need much help or motivation. On the other hand, there are some who are either inconsistent and their good health gradually slips away, or they are altogether have neglected their bodies.

But no matter your situation, my advice is this. Forget the past and fix your eyes on the present. Take action steps to find the root causes  and triggers for the poor decisions made regarding your health.

As a Health and Wellness coach I help my clients to do just that and more.

If you are interested in learning more on how to overcome the barriers to changing your health for the better, please sign up with your name and email for more information.

Thanks for visiting my site!





How To Avoid A Mediocre Marriage

How to Avoid a Mediocre Marriage



It is easy to get complacent and settle for just a mediocre marriage. But in order for a marriage to stand strong in tough times, it is important to not settle for anything other than a great marriage. Why settle for good, when great is attainable. Your marriage has the capacity to be great and it truly can be great if you work hard at it.


There are six key principles to avoiding a mediocre marriage and to have the greatest marriage possible.

  • Have a goal oriented marriage- in marriage it is important to have a vision. Without vision, people perish. 1Corinthians 9:24- 26 You don’t get in a car and drive without first knowing where you want to go and you also need to know how to get there. Amphorao means to focus and to look away from everything else. It is so easy to get distracted with all the daily activities. A healthy marriage requires both spouses to be intentional. You will both need to know what you are focusing on. Not only is having a goal important but it needs to be the right goal. If it is not pleasing to God, you need to pick another goal. During this time you must both be willing to change in order to reach the goal in mind. A coach can help you get on track and /or make sure that you do not get off track. What is the script that you see in your vision of the goal? Is it one that you have written, or are you going to let God rewrite it for you?


  • Invest in time with your spouse. You must value time with your spouse more than anything else. If not, you will not have a happy marriage. Without the investment of time with your spouse, your marriage will become mediocre, grow weak, and most likely fail. Galatians 6:9 says that we will reap if we do not grow weary. When you think of how the olive farmer plants, cares for, and eventually harvest olives that takes years to produce. These farmers know the value of the time it takes to get there. Marriage is the same way. If we invest the time, we will reap the rewards of a great marriage. In order for there to be a making of the people of God, it will take a lifetime. God continues to prune, mold and shape us continually and when we are faithful, he will honor our commitment to him. The blessing of a great marriage will be a model for everyone in our life to see Jesus at work. What an awesome testimony that is. Ecclesiasticsm 3:1


  • We must persevere if we do not want to have a mediocre marriage. Stick to your plan no matter what happens around you in life. Through all hardships, health concerns, relational downfalls, or anything else that may come. God has a plan for you and what he started will come to fruition if you will only trust him. Keep your perspective- what God values are relationships. He doesn’t value money, things, status, or fame. What he wants is a relationship. If any of that stuff really mattered he would let you take it with you when you leave this world. The only thing that you can take is your relationship with him. Ecc. 5:3 Romans 8:24 Phil 3:10-14. Effort is involved in he perseverance. Hope in your reality of the situation is extremely important. It is the hope that we have in Jesus that brings true meaning to anything that we set out to do. If you as a couple truly want to persevere and desire a great marriage you will value it as much as you do the air that you breath. You will need to press onward, outward, and upward. Just as a roller blades skating up a slight incline, so must you persevere. You must lay aside everything that encumbers you. Hebrews 12:1-2 Empty your pockets and run. James 1- The testing of our faith develops perseverance. God is not in the success business as much as he is in the refining business. Be ready when you are called.


  • Consistency is important because our human nature is to get lazy and bored. The Bible calls for us to be steadfast and unmovable. 1 Corinthians 15:58 Keep in mind that yesterday’s excellence is today’s mediocrity and tomorrow’s failure. Just as we can’t be on and off Christians, we can’t be an on and off spouse. We will be guaranteed a mediocre marriage for sure. We must be ready to be consistent in whatever season that we are in.


  • Just as Jesus paid it all out on the cross, and we must be willing to sacrifice for our marriage. Both husband and wife must consistently be willing to die for the marriage for it to be great. The enemy is at bay and he would love to interfere with your plans. He only needs an open door to start his work. Many times in order for this to happen, we must experience the death that precedes the resurrection. Just as Christ suffered before he died, we are not guaranteed an easy road in marriage. Accept the challenge for the cross to bring brokenness before new life and growth in your marriage to occur.


  • You must hold each other accountable, and if necessary, a coach can help you with this. People who are great surround themselves with great people and wise counsel. A coach can challenge you and encourage you to be better and reach the common goals of a great marriage that you have. Ecclesiasticsm 4:9 Woe to the one that falls and has no one to pick him up. A coach can be the rope holder for you and continue to pick you up and help you be accountable as you work toward the common goal. The lack of accountability is the number one reason that marriag s fail. Remember, do not be discouraged, keep the end in mind and receive the reward of a great marriage as one day you will finally hear Jesus say “Well done my good and faithful servant.