How to Avoid a Mediocre Marriage
It is easy to get complacent and settle for just a mediocre marriage. But in order for a marriage to stand strong in tough times, it is important to not settle for anything other than a great marriage. Why settle for good, when great is attainable. Your marriage has the capacity to be great and it truly can be great if you work hard at it.
There are six key principles to avoiding a mediocre marriage and to have the greatest marriage possible.
- Have a goal oriented marriage- in marriage it is important to have a vision. Without vision, people perish. 1Corinthians 9:24- 26 You don’t get in a car and drive without first knowing where you want to go and you also need to know how to get there. Amphorao means to focus and to look away from everything else. It is so easy to get distracted with all the daily activities. A healthy marriage requires both spouses to be intentional. You will both need to know what you are focusing on. Not only is having a goal important but it needs to be the right goal. If it is not pleasing to God, you need to pick another goal. During this time you must both be willing to change in order to reach the goal in mind. A coach can help you get on track and /or make sure that you do not get off track. What is the script that you see in your vision of the goal? Is it one that you have written, or are you going to let God rewrite it for you?
- Invest in time with your spouse. You must value time with your spouse more than anything else. If not, you will not have a happy marriage. Without the investment of time with your spouse, your marriage will become mediocre, grow weak, and most likely fail. Galatians 6:9 says that we will reap if we do not grow weary. When you think of how the olive farmer plants, cares for, and eventually harvest olives that takes years to produce. These farmers know the value of the time it takes to get there. Marriage is the same way. If we invest the time, we will reap the rewards of a great marriage. In order for there to be a making of the people of God, it will take a lifetime. God continues to prune, mold and shape us continually and when we are faithful, he will honor our commitment to him. The blessing of a great marriage will be a model for everyone in our life to see Jesus at work. What an awesome testimony that is. Ecclesiasticsm 3:1
- We must persevere if we do not want to have a mediocre marriage. Stick to your plan no matter what happens around you in life. Through all hardships, health concerns, relational downfalls, or anything else that may come. God has a plan for you and what he started will come to fruition if you will only trust him. Keep your perspective- what God values are relationships. He doesn’t value money, things, status, or fame. What he wants is a relationship. If any of that stuff really mattered he would let you take it with you when you leave this world. The only thing that you can take is your relationship with him. Ecc. 5:3 Romans 8:24 Phil 3:10-14. Effort is involved in he perseverance. Hope in your reality of the situation is extremely important. It is the hope that we have in Jesus that brings true meaning to anything that we set out to do. If you as a couple truly want to persevere and desire a great marriage you will value it as much as you do the air that you breath. You will need to press onward, outward, and upward. Just as a roller blades skating up a slight incline, so must you persevere. You must lay aside everything that encumbers you. Hebrews 12:1-2 Empty your pockets and run. James 1- The testing of our faith develops perseverance. God is not in the success business as much as he is in the refining business. Be ready when you are called.
- Consistency is important because our human nature is to get lazy and bored. The Bible calls for us to be steadfast and unmovable. 1 Corinthians 15:58 Keep in mind that yesterday’s excellence is today’s mediocrity and tomorrow’s failure. Just as we can’t be on and off Christians, we can’t be an on and off spouse. We will be guaranteed a mediocre marriage for sure. We must be ready to be consistent in whatever season that we are in.
- Just as Jesus paid it all out on the cross, and we must be willing to sacrifice for our marriage. Both husband and wife must consistently be willing to die for the marriage for it to be great. The enemy is at bay and he would love to interfere with your plans. He only needs an open door to start his work. Many times in order for this to happen, we must experience the death that precedes the resurrection. Just as Christ suffered before he died, we are not guaranteed an easy road in marriage. Accept the challenge for the cross to bring brokenness before new life and growth in your marriage to occur.
- You must hold each other accountable, and if necessary, a coach can help you with this. People who are great surround themselves with great people and wise counsel. A coach can challenge you and encourage you to be better and reach the common goals of a great marriage that you have. Ecclesiasticsm 4:9 Woe to the one that falls and has no one to pick him up. A coach can be the rope holder for you and continue to pick you up and help you be accountable as you work toward the common goal. The lack of accountability is the number one reason that marriag s fail. Remember, do not be discouraged, keep the end in mind and receive the reward of a great marriage as one day you will finally hear Jesus say “Well done my good and faithful servant.