Top 10 Ways to Return to Your Vows Everyday
Do you remember the vows you took, the promises made and intentional commitments?
Are you following up on those vows that you started? If you are thinking twice about the decision that you made with your wife, don’t miss out on the blessing that God has for you in the end.
I have seen too many marriages fail. I have seen them fail in my own Family with my parents and my siblings, and now some of the friends that I have stood tall with for the last 15 years, their marriages have fallen as well.
It’s hard to stand by and simply watch this happen. No matter what you are going through, I want you to know that God can get you through the tough times in your marriage and that it is never too late to return to the vows that you started.
Sure, life is hard and sometimes you may feel that your feelings for your spouse have washed down the drain. Or perhaps you feel that life has given you too big a bone to chew on.
Do not be deceived into thinking that things cannot change for the better.
The enemy wants nothing more than to steal you away from the Lord, from your spouse, and from your family. He wants to make it distasteful and unappealing. Destroying family and burning up the kitchen is his business.
Life is not about a cookie cutter specialty designed gourmet life with perfect endings and outcomes.
In fact, as much as you may think at the moment that life would be better with other savory ingredients than what you started with, and that you have found the secret recipe to life in another cookbook,when it comes out of the oven, and when the cooking show is over, your gourmet meal will be something other than what you hoped for.
Stay true to God’s recipe for your life. Then, finally, when your timer is done, and you look back on your recipe of life, you will see that the finished product is choc-full of all of the wonderful creations that God had intended for you in your marriage, and you will know that through the faith that you had and in trusting the Lord for the end result, it now makes perfect sense.
I have been happily married for almost 18 years through both good times and bad. In my marriage journey with my wife Edie, we have experienced great hardship together. God is faithful and has seen us through each peak and valley of our journey together through life’s kitchen. And although life is not exactly what we had expected, we are enjoying the sweet aroma that pours out as God continues to bless us for our faithfulness to Him.
The Top 10 Ways to Return To Your Vows Every Day
- Start Each Day With Quiet Time With God– I know this is not easy to do, but when you take the seriousness of just how much Satan wants to destroy your walk with God, he will do anything he can to distract you and your time alone with God. This includes giving thanks, praise, and living each day in confession to God.
- Pray for and with your wife– The family that prays together, stays together. This is providing you with a daily set of armor. Without a prayer life with your spouse, the enemy can get in the kitchen and put the fire out.
- “Don’t go through life with one eye on the exit door”– These are words from our marriage pastor Jim Henry. As long as you keep one eye on the exit door you will fail to change or live humbly because you have an escape route planned to use when the kitchen gets too hot.
- Remain Faithful to your wife– Most of the time when there is infidelity, it is because a spouse goes looking for it. Regardless, when it happens, it can ruin a marriage. The reason why this is number 4 on my list is because when you are committed to making a marriage work, and don’t have an eye on the exit door, your marriage can survive infidelity. Before you are unfaithful though, ask yourself this question Are you prepared to live with the damage that you cause to your spouse and children and to yourself for the rest of your life?
- Spend quality time together– As busy as life can be, it’s always easy to overlook one of the most important parts to your marriage. Building on your marriage requires that you spend time together. As you go through life together, you both will change. It is important to continue to know each other so intimately, that the sharing and caring continues to build up, so as to keep the walls between you down.
- The Order of Family Importance is God First, Spouse Second, and children third– In order to maintain order in the family, God has to be the head of your life because your marriage depends on it. If you take God out of the marriage, and put yourself in the slot, it means you are placing yourself as being more important and wiser than God. This will spell disaster for your marriage. Your spouse has to be second because when you made your vows to God, you became one flesh. The children are then next because they were given to you by God. They are yours for a short while to raise as God would have you to do. If they become more important than your spouse or your marriage, there will be serious problems as the children get older. They will become wise and play off of each of you. At times they can become between you and your spouse causing separation, and yes even divorce.
- Be committed in “richer or poorer”– My wife and I were comfortable and always able to pay our bills. But when I lost my medical sales career after losing my peripheral vision, it became more difficult for us to pay our bills. My wife had to return to work, and I became the homeschooling parent. This was not an easy adjustment for us at all. But when you allow God to continue to work through your circumstances, He will bless you and as you remain faithful to Him He will remain faithful to you.
- Be committed in “sickness and in health”– When I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, my wife and my family were hugely impacted. During this time of fear, we were completely and utterly depending on God. Although it was a tough time, it was also a time of growing for us along our journey together as a couple and a family. My wife was the backbone of our family, and pulled resources together for prayer, guidance, counseling, and many other ways and God provided for us while I recovered.
- Serve one another– Every day that you can, make an effort to serve your wife. Find out each others love language. I recommend taking the class on The Five Love Languages. This will help you to understand how to serve your spouse and for her to also understand how she can serve you. Ensuring your acts of love and servant-hood speak to her, will make her appreciates it the most.
- Stay out of debt– I’m not the first one to say it, but do not get into credit card debt. The Bible is very clear that the borrower is a slave to the lender. At one point during our marriage we were over $20,000 in credit card debt. This was a tremendous strain on our marriage. We were convicted for allowing ourselves to get in such debt but managed to work our way out of it. Although we have no credit card debt today, it still leaves bad memories that we both wish we could forget.
What is the most important thing to you in your marriage and why?
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